It hums it's perpetual song,
Not caring who was listening.
Pushing stale warm air for eternity.
It's cord will indeed be used for punishment.
LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
10/30/2004
10/27/2004
Lost Update - Turning Japanese
Lost Update - Lost In Virtual Reality 10/27/2004
Ive got your picture of me and you
You wrote I love you I love you too
I sit there staring and theres nothing else to do
Oh its in color your hair is brown
Your eyes are hazel and soft as clouds
I often kiss you when theres no one else around
You wrote I love you I love you too
I sit there staring and theres nothing else to do
Oh its in color your hair is brown
Your eyes are hazel and soft as clouds
I often kiss you when theres no one else around
Yes, another Grassy Knoll Institute ABC Lost update.(My theory, the survivors are in a virtual reality laboratory being experimented on by an alien race)
Tonight, Jin, the Korean male goes crazy and attacks Sawyer because he is wearing Jin's watch. Sawyer found it in the wreckage and has claimed it as his own. The fight is stopped and the Jin is handcuffed to part of the fuselage. Perhaps the aliens are using psychotropic drugs to influence the emotions and behavior of certain individuals on the island. Perhaps it is a simple test of jealousy, possessions, and anger.
Second, the choice. Half the group decides to go where the fresh water is, and where the area is sheltered somewhat and defensible from wild animals. It is also shady and cooler. The downside is that they are off the shore and not visible to search and rescue crews that surely would be still out there after only several days. The group divides. The other group decides to stay on the beach and tough it out. Another experiment by the aliens on dividing the herd and weeding out the strong. Perhaps an exercise to bring the Alpha personalities to front and center.
Stay tuned till next week.
LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
10/20/2004
Worst Movies Ever Made
The Worst Movies Ever Made
Presented By The Grassy Knoll Institute Film Society
With the Halloween season just completed, I paid close attention to the TV stations promo's for upcoming Halloween movies. I saw most of these so called "Classics" and mind you many of them were clunkers.
Going one step further, the scientists at the Institute decided to compile, (after many hours logged viewing movie after movie) the worst movies ever made.
These movies are in no particular order.....
"Glitter" starring Mariah Carey. Made the movie "Showgirls" look like an Oscar nominated film.
"The Tempest" starring Susan Sarandon. On advice by my older brother that this was a great movie, I took my date, my future wife, to see it. It was our first date, and almost the last. Only the goat Nino saved us.
"Attack of the Killer Tomatoes". Yes, I know it was supposed to be a spoof of classic "B" movies, but the jokes and timing were so bad and the props, paper mache tomatoes bouncing down streets were just pathetic.
"Halloween 3". Thinking that this was the trilogy set of the original Halloween movies, I went and paid good money to be sorely disappointed. This movie was not even about Michael Myers, but about some stupid mask that turns people into zombies. A total lamo.
"Howard the Duck" A talking duck from outer space. No more need be said here.
"Plan 9 From Outer Space". An Ed Wood classic. Aliens come to conquer the Earth but all previous 8 plans used did not work. Hence, the title of the movie. Plan 9 would raise the dead and use the zombies to destroy the earth and do the evil bidding of the aliens. It was also Bela Lagosi's last movie. He died before it was completed and a stand in actor was used to complete the movie. The actor had to use a cape and hat to cover his face so as not to be recognized as not being Bela. I wouldn't want to be recognized in this film either.
"Mars Needs Women". Should have been titled, In search of a script....
"Legend of Boggy Creek". I remember watching the promo ads on TV for this movie. It showed several seconds of a fuzzy out of focus ape like creature from a distance walking in the woods. The problem was, that was the highlight of the movie. There was no more actual footage of big foot. Just worthless interviews from a dozen or so eye witnesses.
"Queen of Outer Space" starring Zsa Zsa Gabor. A group of astronauts are blown off course and land on planet Venus and find it inhabited by women. Beautiful women, in mini skirts, and big hairdos. The plot thickens as do these movies do, and the queen wants the men all dead. Zsa Zsa helps them and is condemned with the men. The green sticky rock thingy that somehow attracts them and traps them is one of the worst ever movie props.
"Who's that girl" starring Madonna. I guess this should be, any Madonna movie but this one tops the charts.
"The Gods Must Be Crazy". The African jungle. A bottle of coke that fell from the sky. That's about it.
"Nell" starring Jodie Foster. Dennis Miller, comedian said it best. You go see Nell by yourself.
"Cabin Boy". It's a wonder this stinker didn't bankrupt and ruin David Letterman's reputation. His company produced this clunker.
"Manos The Hands Of Fate". Apparently Manos was an evil spirit, and the master of the house, or hotel, worshipped Manos. A hapless family stumbles into his clutches and seemingly become worshippers as well. Hard to follow plot. Terrible acting.
"Stop Or My Mom Will Shoot" starring Sly Stallone. The rise and fall of Rocky.
"Teenagers From Outer Space". Classic story. Alien teenage boy sent to take over the Earth falls for beautiful Earth girl. The other alien teenage boys hunt down the renegade alien teenage boy with ray guns that have a two second time delay when pressing the trigger.
"Sgt's Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band" starring Peter Frampton and the Bee Gee's. This was the death knell for the disco era.
"The Fog" starring Andrianne Barbeau. The monster was fog that swept bad people away. Reminds me of the movie "Play Misty For Me".
"Laserblast". Classic story of teenage boy not loved by his mother, harassed by the local sheriff, finds alien technology (A laser gun and strange broach that turned him green) and decides to take matters into his own hands. Classic.
"Mr. Nanny" starring Hulk Hogan. This movie clearly proves that Vince McMahon owns all the wrestlers rights and futures. Hulk sinks to low level.
Well, there you have it. Twenty classic stinkers.
Any that I left out or missed?
What are your worst favorite movies?
Presented By The Grassy Knoll Institute Film Society
With the Halloween season just completed, I paid close attention to the TV stations promo's for upcoming Halloween movies. I saw most of these so called "Classics" and mind you many of them were clunkers.
Going one step further, the scientists at the Institute decided to compile, (after many hours logged viewing movie after movie) the worst movies ever made.
These movies are in no particular order.....
"Glitter" starring Mariah Carey. Made the movie "Showgirls" look like an Oscar nominated film.
"The Tempest" starring Susan Sarandon. On advice by my older brother that this was a great movie, I took my date, my future wife, to see it. It was our first date, and almost the last. Only the goat Nino saved us.
"Attack of the Killer Tomatoes". Yes, I know it was supposed to be a spoof of classic "B" movies, but the jokes and timing were so bad and the props, paper mache tomatoes bouncing down streets were just pathetic.
"Halloween 3". Thinking that this was the trilogy set of the original Halloween movies, I went and paid good money to be sorely disappointed. This movie was not even about Michael Myers, but about some stupid mask that turns people into zombies. A total lamo.
"Howard the Duck" A talking duck from outer space. No more need be said here.
"Plan 9 From Outer Space". An Ed Wood classic. Aliens come to conquer the Earth but all previous 8 plans used did not work. Hence, the title of the movie. Plan 9 would raise the dead and use the zombies to destroy the earth and do the evil bidding of the aliens. It was also Bela Lagosi's last movie. He died before it was completed and a stand in actor was used to complete the movie. The actor had to use a cape and hat to cover his face so as not to be recognized as not being Bela. I wouldn't want to be recognized in this film either.
"Mars Needs Women". Should have been titled, In search of a script....
"Legend of Boggy Creek". I remember watching the promo ads on TV for this movie. It showed several seconds of a fuzzy out of focus ape like creature from a distance walking in the woods. The problem was, that was the highlight of the movie. There was no more actual footage of big foot. Just worthless interviews from a dozen or so eye witnesses.
"Queen of Outer Space" starring Zsa Zsa Gabor. A group of astronauts are blown off course and land on planet Venus and find it inhabited by women. Beautiful women, in mini skirts, and big hairdos. The plot thickens as do these movies do, and the queen wants the men all dead. Zsa Zsa helps them and is condemned with the men. The green sticky rock thingy that somehow attracts them and traps them is one of the worst ever movie props.
"Who's that girl" starring Madonna. I guess this should be, any Madonna movie but this one tops the charts.
"The Gods Must Be Crazy". The African jungle. A bottle of coke that fell from the sky. That's about it.
"Nell" starring Jodie Foster. Dennis Miller, comedian said it best. You go see Nell by yourself.
"Cabin Boy". It's a wonder this stinker didn't bankrupt and ruin David Letterman's reputation. His company produced this clunker.
"Manos The Hands Of Fate". Apparently Manos was an evil spirit, and the master of the house, or hotel, worshipped Manos. A hapless family stumbles into his clutches and seemingly become worshippers as well. Hard to follow plot. Terrible acting.
"Stop Or My Mom Will Shoot" starring Sly Stallone. The rise and fall of Rocky.
"Teenagers From Outer Space". Classic story. Alien teenage boy sent to take over the Earth falls for beautiful Earth girl. The other alien teenage boys hunt down the renegade alien teenage boy with ray guns that have a two second time delay when pressing the trigger.
"Sgt's Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band" starring Peter Frampton and the Bee Gee's. This was the death knell for the disco era.
"The Fog" starring Andrianne Barbeau. The monster was fog that swept bad people away. Reminds me of the movie "Play Misty For Me".
"Laserblast". Classic story of teenage boy not loved by his mother, harassed by the local sheriff, finds alien technology (A laser gun and strange broach that turned him green) and decides to take matters into his own hands. Classic.
"Mr. Nanny" starring Hulk Hogan. This movie clearly proves that Vince McMahon owns all the wrestlers rights and futures. Hulk sinks to low level.
Well, there you have it. Twenty classic stinkers.
Any that I left out or missed?
What are your worst favorite movies?
LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
Lost Update - If Only You Believed In Miracles
Lost Secrets Update - Lost Is Virtual Reality 10/20/2004
If only you believe like I believe, baby
Wed get by
If only you believe in miracles, baby
So would I
Wed get by
If only you believe in miracles, baby
So would I
Now that the Grassy Knoll Institute has put its cards on the table, its time to call. In my previous post that immediately followed the pilot show, I told you my theory on what the show was about and why. (Remember, the virtual reality thing, all the survivors are tied together and being experimented on by an alien race) As promised, each and every episode is fortifying the Institutes theory.
Case in point. The bald crazy guy. You know, the one with 400 knives. (John Locke) He was paralyzed before the crash on the island. His back story verifies this. The plane crashes on the island, Locke wakes up and (It's a miracle) he is able to walk. Not just hobble, but run with authority like nothing happened to him. Perhaps, in Lockes virtual reality, he IS all that he can be, the ultimate take charge backwoodsman he always wanted to be.
Then there's doctor Jack. Jack sees a strange man in a suit several times. He finally recognizes the suited man and it is his father, who had died in Australia. Jack was bringing his body back for the funeral. Later on, Jack finds the casket and the body is not there. Perhaps Jack in his virtual reality, wants to believe his father is somehow still alive, and on the island, it is a possibility.
With these extra pieces to the puzzle, my theory holds strong that the survivors are actually in an elaborate laboratory being studied much like human scientists study animals in a zoo.
Stay tuned until next week.
Everytime you come by, let me try
Pretty, please sugar on it
Thats how I like it
I cant even believe it, with you
Its like having every dream I ever wanted
Come true
I picked up your vibes
You know it opened my eyes
But Im still dreamin yeah
And youre right where I found ya
With my arms around ya.
Pretty, please sugar on it
Thats how I like it
I cant even believe it, with you
Its like having every dream I ever wanted
Come true
I picked up your vibes
You know it opened my eyes
But Im still dreamin yeah
And youre right where I found ya
With my arms around ya.
LURKING, OR MAYBE THEY ARE ALL DEAD AND IN PURGATORY, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
10/15/2004
Famous Last Words
Famous Last Words Gone Bad
#001 I'll get a world record for this...
#002 Let me just reach in and get your watch out of the printing press.
#003 Why am I standing on a plastic sheet?
#004 It's fireproof...
#005 Godfather, why did you kiss me on the cheek?
#006 So, you're a feminist? Isn't that precious?
#007 Gee, that's a cute tattoo...
#008 Don't worry, he's probably just hibernating...
#009 I'll hold it and you light the fuse...
#010 Don't worry, I saw this done on television...
#011 I regret that I have only one life to give for my country.
#012 What duck?
#013 What does this button do?
#014 These are the good kind of mushrooms...
#015 We need a bigger boat....
#016 Happy birthday Mr. President....
#017 Then let them eat cake...
#018 Pull the pin and count to what?
#019 This won't hurt a bit...
#020 Which wire am I supposed to cut?
#021 No one's ever escaped from the Rock...
#022 How fast can this Vette go anyway?
#023 Blue! No, wait, Yellow, Ahrggg....
#024 Anyone got a match?
#025 I'm making a citizens arrest...
#026 Rosebud....
#027 It's probably just a rash...
#028 She's dead.....Wrapped in plastic...
#029 Are you sure the power's off?
#030 The odds of that happening are a million to one...
#031 Hey, there's no handles inside these car doors.
#032 Hey, that's not a violin...
#033 I'm melting.....melting....melting...
#034 Why is the rest of the Star trek landing party wearing a different color uniform?
#035 I wonder where the mother bear is?
#036 I am the walrus...goo goo ga joob....
#037 What's that priest doing here?....
#038 What's that smell?
#039 Here's my Kent State student ID card....
#040 What do these buttons do?
#041 What plane?...
#042 This planet has an atmoshere just like on earth...
#043 Now, let's all stick together....
#044 It's a cook book.....
#045 This doesn't taste right....
#046 Watch this....
#047 Vulcans never bluff...
#048 Nice doggie...
#049 Don't worry, I'm an expert...
#050 I think I just saw Charles Manson...
#051 Now I lay me down to sleep...
#052 This house ain't haunted...
#053 The Lord is my Sheppard...
#054 OK, this is the last time....
#055 That birthmark behind your ear looks a lot like 999...
#056 Phasers on Stun...
#057 Houston, we have a problem...
#058 Where's the instruction manual?...
#059 Give me liberty or give me death...
#060 I don't think we're in Kansas anymore...
#061 Fire what cannon?....
#062 Don't be so superstitious...
#063 No way will it ever rain for 40 days and nights...
#064 That's odd...
#065 So, do you fell lucky punk?...Well....Do ya?...
#066 I have, and shall always be,....your friend...Live long and prosper.
#067 I know a shortcut...
#068 Nero, do you smell smoke?
#069 Who's all those men in black suits and dark glasses?
#070 I'll just slip into the commuter lane for a second...
#071 Is that a black helicopter?
#072 Where's the brakes on this thing?
#073 Don't worry, we'll make the jump...
#074 Here's your recon report General Custer...
#075 I'll get your bagel out...
#076 That sign says Area 51....
#077 I've done this before...
#078 It'll hold us both...
#079 I can make this light before it changes....
#080 Is that a train whistle?
#081 I can do that with my eyes closed...
#082 No, my shoes are not untied...
#083 What do you mean, I'll be back...
#084 Let it down slowly...
#085 Alas poor Yorok...
#086 Oh Ruby,.....Don't take your love to town...
#087 OK, I'll make your day wise guy....
#088 Guilty, Your honor...
#089 I got's to know.
#090 Frankly Scarlett, I don't give a damn.
#091 With God as my witness....
#092 She's a witch...
#093 It looks like it's clear sailing from here.
#094 What a useless scroll. It says, HASTUR HASTUR HASTUR over and over again."
#095 "Click?? ...This doesn't come with ammo?"
#096 "Let me handle this."
#097 "That's only a statue"
#098 "You jump down and distract him, and I'll shoot him."
#099 "Don't be silly. If this was really the ship's "Self-Destruct Button", do you think they'd leave it lying around where anyone could press it?"
#100 "Hmmm...the sign on the door says, "AIRLOCK". I wonder what's inside."
#101"They can't see me. I'm invisible!"
#102 "All clear, guys."
#103 "What do you mean, I hear water?"
LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
10/07/2004
Giant Alien Saw Falls From Sky
 |
| Giant Alien Saw Falls From Sky |
Evidence That Giant Aliens Exist
The Grassy Knoll Institute discovered a giant saw blade at the center of a small city in Japan. Eye witnesses said the saw blade fell several hundred feet from a huge hovering saucer-shaped alien craft. Amazingly, it stuck blade down in the earth.
The Grassy Knoll Institute estimates the owner of the giant alien blade exceeds 1200 feet in height with an average weight of 40,000 pounds.
The blade itself is made of a metallic material unknown to man and cannot be dented or cut and thus will remain buried in the ground.
The residents only hope of removal is for another visit from the giant aliens coming back to retrieve their missing tool.
If that happens, the Grassy Knoll Institute will be there to report the outcome.
Back To Giant Aliens Archives
LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
10/06/2004
Lost Update - Sand In Your Shoes
Lost Update – Lost Is Virtual Reality 10/06/2004
You always were a city kid though you were country raised
And back in some forgotten time we shared the cold north days
But the simple life was not your style, and you just had to escape
So it’s goodbye to my lady of the islands.
ABC Lost secrets revealed. The Grassy Knoll Institute believes the survivors are in a virtual reality laboratory connected together as a battery of tests and experiments are performed on them. Not by the Dharma institute, but by aliens.
The survivors are gathering belongings from the plane. The police agent is dying, he is going in and out of consciousness. He warns Jack about Kate, tells him he cannot trust her. Hurley finds out the secret that Kate is the one the agent was bringing back.
The French womens transmission, on a loop for 16 years, stating that they are all dead.
The end of the show, Jack and Kate are sitting on the beach. Jack states that three days ago, we all died. It doesn’t matter who we were, what we did. We are now on the island, with a fresh start. There are now seated in a new environment, a new world, a virtual world. What they do now means everything.
It would appear that the series writers are baiting the viewers in believing they are all dead with Jacks beach statement. But we all different now don’t we. This is merely the shakedown period, a time for the survivors to become accustomed to their new virtual reality world. Everyone’s thoughts interacting, intertwining, becoming one thought.
Until next week Losties.
On Remembrance Day the bands all played, the bells pealed through the park
And you lay there by the “Do Not” signs, and shamed them with your spark
Now winter moans in old men’s bones as the day falls into dark
So it’s goodbye to my lady of the islands.
It was just like this behind the kisses you so soon swept away
I always knew that some day yo’d be bound to just get pulled away…
The summer sun beats on and on, the shops swim in the heat
And you’re standing by the traffic signs with taxis at your feet
I know that in your city skin you’re feeling more complete
So it’s goodbye to my lady of the islands.
No I never got the letters that you said you’d send me
So it’s goodbye to my lady of the islands.
LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
10/04/2004
R.E. M. - Not those Guys
For all you know, the hideous hell you are living in is merely a dream, an illusion, mere minutes of R.E.M. sleep state.
Safely asleep, tucked away in a warm bed in a small sleepy hollow town. Content to be manacled to your pitiful 9 to 5 job at the local employer. Imagine the horror when you finally awake and realize that your dream is actually reality, and reality is a mere figment of your imagination.
Now ain't that like losing your religion.
PLEASANT DREAMS.....From the Grassy Knoll Institute.
LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
Safely asleep, tucked away in a warm bed in a small sleepy hollow town. Content to be manacled to your pitiful 9 to 5 job at the local employer. Imagine the horror when you finally awake and realize that your dream is actually reality, and reality is a mere figment of your imagination.
Now ain't that like losing your religion.
PLEASANT DREAMS.....From the Grassy Knoll Institute.
LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
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